This week has been a challenge. Everything’s felt like an uphill struggle and finding ‘flow’ has been impossible. During the last couple of weeks, one thing I’ve rediscovered a love for is writing - something I was prolific at doing as a child and something I dabble in through journalling as an adult. So I was dismayed this week when I sat down to write and my ideas didn’t easily fall out of my head and onto the page. I’ve had to close the document down as rereading it and seeing it on my screen was giving me the ‘ick’; it’s clumsy* and I don’t have the energy to fix it. Yet. It’s not an idea lost forever, but I’ve spent too long trying to force it.
*Edit: Having written this blog, slept on it and revisited the other blog I was trying to write - it's really not that bad. Amazing what perspective fresh eyes can bring to something.
I’ve also felt overwhelmed this week. I’ve been distracted with ideas for more things to research and write about, ideas for new ventures and I’ve seen more roles I’d like to apply for. Everything has been vying for my attention and I’ve not known where to start. In today’s modern society where everything demands our attention, I’m pretty sure if you’re reading this, you’ll have felt this overwhelm at some point, too.
Another thing I’ve felt this week is like I’m treading water. For all the applications I’ve made so far (and for context it’s ~10, not hundreds), little progress has been made. Sure, I’ve made great connections and had exciting conversations, but for all I’ve adjusted my CV, added to the portfolio and spent time on cover letters, feedback and interviews are feeling elusive right now. Despite how this may sound, I am still positive and upbeat - after all, there are things that are beyond my control which could be impacting progress, like the fact we’ve moved from the old financial year to the new as well as early Easter holidays this year.
What I’ve done about it
Never one to sit about and mope, I’ve dipped into my toolkit to take action and help me during this week of stagnation and challenge. In case these are helpful tools for others, I thought I’d share my thoughts on what has helped me this not only this week, but these are the tools I most frequently use when I'm stuck - on a problem or can't seem to find the creative groove.
Journaling
When I started writing my thoughts down, I thought of the great writers who kept diaries and hoped something as profound would pour out of me - sadly, while there have been nuggets (the odd line of poetry and inspired self-reflection comments) on the whole it’s pretty mundane reading.
I try to not overthink it, allowing myself to free write as much as possible - try to not be bothered when something's spelt wrong or I've not used a comma or a full stop for a page and a half; I just try to get what’s in my head, out. This helps as I don’t then have to carry thoughts, ideas and feelings around with me in my head. They are in the journal and I can choose to revisit them (or not). Frequently, I'll find that, through writing, solutions to problems will present themselves or I’ll see something from a different angle, meaning that the problem itself has evaporated over a number of sentences. It feels like lexical alchemy at times.
Movement
Another tool I rely on to get out of my head and the thoughts that reside there is to get into my body. I usually practice yoga with an online class from Unite Yoga to guide me but one morning this week I felt called to move intuitively, following a style of yoga referred to as Embodied Flow. The intention is to use feeling and intuition over thinking and logic. I find traditional yoga poses (asanas) do crop up when I move this way but they don't always follow familiar patterns and the transitions between them might be less conventional and more like a piece of contemporary dance - I can only imagine what the neighbours might think if they saw me through the window!
Jokes aside, what I like about this movement and what I’ve been reminded of when I’ve practised this with others in a yoga studio is there’s a sense of knowing and understanding that’s always been inside me and this practice allows me to tap into that deep connection with myself and my intuition. It’s powerful stuff. If it sounds a bit daunting to try, a more accessible and relatable exercise might be turning up the music and unashamedly dancing about - which I love doing too, as both activities can really help to shift blocked energy.
Visualised circles of control
As I acknowledged above, there are things that are beyond my control which have added to the challenges I've felt this week, so this exercise allows me to highlight what I can have an impact on (and so should focus on) and what I can’t influence (and I should try to let go). It’s from there that I can more easily see the problems and start to break them down into the smallest thing I can do to move forward and feel like I am making progress. This all sounds strangely familiar to product design and identifying our MVP, doesn’t it? Amazing where we can find tools for our well-being toolkits.
Identified my accomplishments
This is a practice I’ve established over the last couple of weeks which I’ve found helps me to flip my perspective when I’m starting to feel negative. This week I ran out of space on my whiteboard documenting my wins! No matter how small, it helps to acknowledge where steps have been made to move you from where you are now to achieving your goal. This has helped me realise that although I’ve yet to feel a big leap forward, I am taking baby steps and making things happen.
Isn’t it funny, how the end of the week can feel better than the start? I wonder, is it just the ‘Friday Feeling’ looking ahead to time for ourselves, with family and friends over the weekend? Is it a feeling of gratitude, happy to have made it out the other side of the challenges with the weekend to (hopefully) provide respite? Or could it be that the practice of self-reflection helps us to realise what we have achieved or learned and that, perhaps what we felt were insurmountable challenges at the time, fundamentally are more likely minor bumps in the road on our overall journey? No doubt there’s a combination of all of these.
I hope you’ve had a great week and if it’s been less than great, firstly, be kind to yourself and if some of what I’ve shared has inspired you, how can you take some small steps to implement these techniques for yourself? And if you’ve other tools to share, I’d love to hear more about them on either LinkedIn or Twitter.
Thanks, as always, for reading.